Christmas - Happy and Sad

     With each passing year I value the spiritual part of Christmas more and more.  For me it is both a happy and sad time of year.  For me it is the time I think about childhood memories, both good and bad.  Many Christmases were happy, but some big changes happened during Christmas time as a child and not all of them were happy or good.  Many people are no longer here and this past year for some reason several friends lost people they held dear including me.  Two lost their mother, one lost their husband, one lost their baby, and I lost a friend and sister in-law.  So it seems extra hard to paste on the smile and act happy all the time.  I don't think we have to though; I don't think Christmas is about feeling the commercial kind happy all the time.
     I have found a new kind of happiness.  One where I can think of people I have loved and lost and be grateful for the time we had.  That makes me happy.  I think how they must be experiencing Christmas in an altogether wonderful way now.  I am grateful for my blessings.  I am happy for my healing from cancer and the chance to be here with my family.  My son has grown up and moved away, so I enjoy our time together more and more.
     If you look at the Christmas story, think about how Mary and Joseph felt that first Christmas night.    I can't imagine giving birth in a barn on a cold night, being exhausted from traveling on a donkey.  It must have been horrible and scary, yet I am sure they were still overjoyed by Jesus birth.
     With the new year about to start I always take a look at where I am and where I am going.  Life seems to go on in waves with each one seeming like it could go on forever.  However, eventually I find out it doesn't.  In the first wave I was the kid who couldn't wait to grow up, then I was the mom of a little boy.  Now, still a wife and mother, I am at the start of a new wave of self discovery.  I wish you comfort and joy this coming year!


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