Food Allergies - Design Your Daily Life Series - Going to School
When my son started school with multiple food allergies, including experience with reactions on contact to peanut residue, thirteen years ago there was no plan in place to deep children like him safe. Fortunately, he was protected by law and the public schools worked with me. The private schools immediately told me to home school.
I am very happy with the experience we had in school. My son loved school more than any other activity. He gave 100% to every activity and in kindergarten wanted to go on weekends too. I had to tell him "Sorry, school is not in session on weekends."
Our success was do in large part to remaining faithful to a ritual I did the week before school every year - and I mean every year. Even high school. We met with the teachers, principle, and nurse. If you take it seriously, they will too. The teachers came to expect it. I made up an information sheet to hand out and discuss. Keeping it in a simple format, it went like this.
Side One
Student's Name
Age
Weight
Emergency Phone Numbers
What he was allergic to
Listed Symptoms of a reaction in bullet form
What to do in the event of a reaction
Side Two
What we needed to do to keep him safe - in bullet form
I kept this to one page and as simple as possible.
Most important items were listed first.
How did I get them on Board?
-Contacted the school the beginning of June to request a meeting in August the week before school. Talked to the principle/nurse/guidance counselor, whoever was in charge of rounding up the troops for the meeting. Asked them, "When can I call to get a meeting time before the school year starts?" They told me when they came back to work after summer break and when to call then. This got the meeting because:
1) It was not a surprise call the crazy week before school demanding time for a meeting. I already had established that it was to take place.
2) They made a note of it on their list of things to do when they came back.
-Bring your child with you to the meeting. My son even came to the Kindergarten meeting.
1) They saw that he was a happy, healthy, well adjusted kid, and it put them at ease. If we were comfortable, they were comfortable. Remember that the teachers have their own fears and concerns about their responsibilities.
2) My son needed to learn about the safety precautions too. Everyone was clear on what to do.
3) Having my son present contributed to the spirit of cooperation. Everyone wants to do their best for all concerned. He felt grown up and in control of his life. He also showed them how to do the epi-pen with a fake trainer model.
-I had copies of the info sheet and medical forms for teachers(substitute folders), nurses, principals, librarians, cafeteria staff, and all who came in contact with my son. I usually made about 25 copies and had some left over for people I did not know about, or needed during the year.
I told the school that I had all copies ready for the meeting, that they did not have to make any. That made the staff smile already.
-Stand and give your presentation - I was educating the teachers about my son's particular experience with food allergies, and asked for questions they might have. Remember, that they are trying to figure out logistics from their point of view. They are thinking, "How am I going to do what she asks, moving through the school day?"
-Allow the staff to take ownership of solutions. MOST IMPORTANT FOLKS! When the staff contributed to brainstorming and the solving of any issue, no matter how small, they immediately came on board. I had their working cooperation all year. People are much more inclined to do something if they think it is their idea.
When discussing my requests of the school, I called it, "What we need to do to keep him safe." When we came to one subject that I knew we needed to work together to accomplish, such as snack time, I gave my idea and asked, "How can we accomplish this?" They would often give their ideas and concerns. Once hearing their concerns, I repeated them, "What I understand is that you/the class needs ... . Is that right?" This assured them I heard them and automatically disabled tension. Then I addressed their requirements/concerns while ensuring my son's safety. "Ok, How about doing ... and you will be able to do school requirement X." or "How can we keep him safe while doing this particular activity?" They often came up with the solution that I had in mind to begin with or something close. I told them that it was a great idea, and I thought it would work.
-Never raise your voice. I remained professional at all times and smiled. My words were well chosen and powerful in some of the years that were challenging. Always educational. I understood our legal rights to a public education, and learned all I could about food allergies. You, and only you, are the advocate for your child. I knew my stuff and put any shyness on the back burner to do what was necessary. Conflicts are less likely to happen when there is understanding of everyone's needs. Both yours and the school's. Be aware of your words before you say them. Ask yourself, "Is this going to contribute to the goal of safety?" If not, don't say it. Replace it with something productive. You can do this.
-Make yourself available. I was room mom, went on field trips, came in person to check ingredients for science projects or art projects. I did not like email. It was like an excruciatingly days long process to get the information I could get in 2 minutes in person before class began. I contributed to the school's volunteer needs, and they received my son's needs more kindly
.
My son enjoys a full active life: This year he received many educational awards, was captain of his cross country team, received his black belt in Karate, and received a full tuition scholarship for college.
Now we are embarking on the college journey. We will learn as we go. I thank the people and resources at the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network which educated us all these years.
I am very happy with the experience we had in school. My son loved school more than any other activity. He gave 100% to every activity and in kindergarten wanted to go on weekends too. I had to tell him "Sorry, school is not in session on weekends."
Our success was do in large part to remaining faithful to a ritual I did the week before school every year - and I mean every year. Even high school. We met with the teachers, principle, and nurse. If you take it seriously, they will too. The teachers came to expect it. I made up an information sheet to hand out and discuss. Keeping it in a simple format, it went like this.
Side One
Student's Name
Age
Weight
Emergency Phone Numbers
What he was allergic to
Listed Symptoms of a reaction in bullet form
What to do in the event of a reaction
Side Two
What we needed to do to keep him safe - in bullet form
I kept this to one page and as simple as possible.
Most important items were listed first.
How did I get them on Board?
-Contacted the school the beginning of June to request a meeting in August the week before school. Talked to the principle/nurse/guidance counselor, whoever was in charge of rounding up the troops for the meeting. Asked them, "When can I call to get a meeting time before the school year starts?" They told me when they came back to work after summer break and when to call then. This got the meeting because:
1) It was not a surprise call the crazy week before school demanding time for a meeting. I already had established that it was to take place.
2) They made a note of it on their list of things to do when they came back.
-Bring your child with you to the meeting. My son even came to the Kindergarten meeting.
1) They saw that he was a happy, healthy, well adjusted kid, and it put them at ease. If we were comfortable, they were comfortable. Remember that the teachers have their own fears and concerns about their responsibilities.
2) My son needed to learn about the safety precautions too. Everyone was clear on what to do.
3) Having my son present contributed to the spirit of cooperation. Everyone wants to do their best for all concerned. He felt grown up and in control of his life. He also showed them how to do the epi-pen with a fake trainer model.
-I had copies of the info sheet and medical forms for teachers(substitute folders), nurses, principals, librarians, cafeteria staff, and all who came in contact with my son. I usually made about 25 copies and had some left over for people I did not know about, or needed during the year.
I told the school that I had all copies ready for the meeting, that they did not have to make any. That made the staff smile already.
-Stand and give your presentation - I was educating the teachers about my son's particular experience with food allergies, and asked for questions they might have. Remember, that they are trying to figure out logistics from their point of view. They are thinking, "How am I going to do what she asks, moving through the school day?"
-Allow the staff to take ownership of solutions. MOST IMPORTANT FOLKS! When the staff contributed to brainstorming and the solving of any issue, no matter how small, they immediately came on board. I had their working cooperation all year. People are much more inclined to do something if they think it is their idea.
When discussing my requests of the school, I called it, "What we need to do to keep him safe." When we came to one subject that I knew we needed to work together to accomplish, such as snack time, I gave my idea and asked, "How can we accomplish this?" They would often give their ideas and concerns. Once hearing their concerns, I repeated them, "What I understand is that you/the class needs ... . Is that right?" This assured them I heard them and automatically disabled tension. Then I addressed their requirements/concerns while ensuring my son's safety. "Ok, How about doing ... and you will be able to do school requirement X." or "How can we keep him safe while doing this particular activity?" They often came up with the solution that I had in mind to begin with or something close. I told them that it was a great idea, and I thought it would work.
-Never raise your voice. I remained professional at all times and smiled. My words were well chosen and powerful in some of the years that were challenging. Always educational. I understood our legal rights to a public education, and learned all I could about food allergies. You, and only you, are the advocate for your child. I knew my stuff and put any shyness on the back burner to do what was necessary. Conflicts are less likely to happen when there is understanding of everyone's needs. Both yours and the school's. Be aware of your words before you say them. Ask yourself, "Is this going to contribute to the goal of safety?" If not, don't say it. Replace it with something productive. You can do this.
-Make yourself available. I was room mom, went on field trips, came in person to check ingredients for science projects or art projects. I did not like email. It was like an excruciatingly days long process to get the information I could get in 2 minutes in person before class began. I contributed to the school's volunteer needs, and they received my son's needs more kindly
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| Pondering Christmas Dinner |
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| Posing for one of the scholarship applications |
My son enjoys a full active life: This year he received many educational awards, was captain of his cross country team, received his black belt in Karate, and received a full tuition scholarship for college.
Now we are embarking on the college journey. We will learn as we go. I thank the people and resources at the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network which educated us all these years.
This is very helpful - I can understand how much work it must have been.
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